There is so much that goes on in life. Some good and others bad, but it is all part of what makes us grow. Sometimes, especially in the toughest of times, we often wish for what could have been as a way to console ourselves and move past these situations. Sadly, the trick does not work. This is part of being human and facing life. Without such circumstances, then, you are not living.  How else will you know you tried if not feeling such emotions?

The ‘what could have been’ moment

Most of the times when we have these moments, it is a show of regret. Whether it is something we had control over or not, we have to face such moments and look forward to what could be. Regrets only delay progress. Spending too much time trying to figure out what went wrong when experiencing regret worsens the situation. All the steps and thoughts that could have prevented the situation from becoming, usually comes up then. As soon as it happens, you may end up hating yourself.

On the contrary, it is not all about regrets. The ‘could have been’ moments can also be lifesaving and happy moments. Maybe you exited a car moments before an accident or chose a different route which saved you from a mugging. At this point, there is usually a mixture of feelings. Relief, gratitude, and fear for others, embrace us. We overthink what could have happened were it not for the actions taken.

What could be

All in all, remember that life is not about what you could have been but what could be. No matter the outcome, focus on the future. You can find strength to get past the ‘could have been’ moments from the below tips;

  • Be okay and move on

As hard as it may be, you have to move on past these moments and feelings. Always keep in mind that some things are beyond our control. The only response is to be okay with the situation and look at what could be. Find ways to better or calm yourself for a brighter future. Crying over spilled milk is worthless as it will not refill the glass.

  • Bear in mind that nothing is permanent

Every moment comes to pass. Dwelling too much on what could have been is blinding you to the opportunities present at the moment. While the rest of the world moves on, you will be stuck thinking about what has already passed. You can count on the fact that things change and focus on what could be.

  • Have the right attitude

Your attitude will be your guide on the next step. Good or bad, could have been moments requires the right attitude to face and go beyond the experience. With a negative attitude, you cannot have a positive happy life. Negativity will limit your actions. Remain positive for the “what could be” to come to life.

Mistakes, regrets, and close encounters are just some things that have to be in our lives. They will drive change and growth if you look at what could be. Use the above tips to set the focus on what could be.

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